First, a quick look back at March’s small change – handwashing our laundry.  I’m still doing it!  It’s turned out to not be much more work, our clothes are way cleaner, and I don’t have to listen to the hideous machine chugging.  Woo hoo!  A quick lesson that hand washing taught me, which can be applied to machine washing also – almost all of our loads of laundry take at least two, sometimes as many as four, changes of rinse water before the water is clear.  Whoa!  When you wash in a machine, you can’t see the rinse water of course, and most machines only have one rinse (you can just back it up and run from the rinse cycle again).  To check if your water is still dirty, you could dip in a cup and see if the water is dirty or clear.  Truly, this has been astonishing, and has made our clothes so much cleaner, it’s sort of shocking.  Hope it’s useful to some of you!

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(photo by Ben)

Looking forward, our change in April sounds very simple, but I think it is truly the hardest one (for me personally at least) – staying home.  To be very clear up front, I’m not just talking about a mother staying home with her children.  I mean a more general choice to stay home instead of going out, whenever possible.  This is challenging for so many reasons – we feel guilty for not visiting friends, we feel we really really must have x from the store right now, we’re going a bit stir crazy, we feel that we would be happier if only we were somewhere else.  This is especially hard for parents of young children, I think, but at the same time, especially important.  I often find myself drawn to public places, because there are more distractions for my daughter and I don’t have to “work” as hard.  But she pretty much always gets overstimulated, and then is much more cranky, grumpy, and cantankerous for hours or even days afterward.  It’s taken me a while, but I began to notice the difference when we just had a day at home (with time outside, but not time in places like the library or going anywhere in the car).  Even knowing this, that it ends up being more unpleasant in the long run, I often find myself fighting the urge to go into town.

So why stay home, other than to create a more peaceful toddler?  Last winter, I found the book Mrs. Dunwoody’s Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping after seeing it on Vintage Chica’s booklist.  It’s a great read, full of practical tips on various household work, and most enlightening to me, a lot of space dedicated to seeing your home as a spiritual place, deserving of tending and care.  For me, this was a revelation that I think I had been longing for – Mrs. Dunwoody prompted me to see household work as an act of love for myself and my family, and to create my first daily household chore list.  I was amazed what a difference it made.

I had felt for some time how empty and cold the house felt when we all came home from being at the bakery all day – how it felt like living in a hotel instead of a home (a hotel with shabby housekeeping at that!), but I hadn’t really understood why or how to change that. I’ve been inspired too, of course, by some many amazing women bloggers, who show us daily how they work to create true homes, sanctuaries for their families.  In Judaism, the Hebrew word for home means “little temple,” which I think is an incredible reminder.  Sharon Astyk in her excellent book Depletion and Abundance proposes using the money a family would normally spend on vacation to instead transform your home into paradise.

Ben and I have both loved making more effort to spend more time here, tending our nest, but often we find ourselves pulled to the bakery due to staff changes or seasonal business.  Sometimes, once we are in the habit of going in often, we can get stuck in that routine.  So this month is a reminder that while we love our bakery, and we love our community, our peace and strength come from a strong, peaceful home base.  It’s a small change I hope to carry with us beyond this month, and also, a step towards balance.  It’s a family decision, and also an environmental one – how much gas do we waste shuffling ourselves back and forth all the time?  How much of our own energy and time gets used up?  Orion had a fantastic article a few months about this, which has stayed at the back of my mind ever since:

“LONG AGO the poet and bioregionalist Gary Snyder said, “The most radical thing you can do is stay home,” a phrase that has itself stayed with me for the many years since I first heard it. . . The task has only become more urgent as climate change in particular underscores that we need to consume a lot less. It’s curious, in the chaos of conversations about what we ought to do to save the world, how seldom sheer modesty comes up—living smaller, staying closer, having less—especially for us in the ranks of the privileged. . .

From outer space, the privileged of this world must look like ants in an anthill that’s been stirred with a stick: everyone constantly rushing around in cars and planes for work and pleasure, for meetings, jobs, conferences, vacations, and more. This is bad for the planet, but it’s not so good for us either. Most of the people I know regard with bemusement or even chagrin the harried, scattered lives they lead. Last summer I found myself having the same conversation with many different people, about our craving for a life with daily rites; with a sense of time like a well-appointed landscape with its landmarks and harmonies; and with a sense of measure and proportion, as opposed to a formless and unending scramble to go places and get things and do more.”

This month, I’m ready to do less, and be home more.  Which means time to prepare dinners without rushing, time to tidy as the day goes on, instead of in a cranky frenzy at the end of the day, time to plant not only vegetables but also some flowers, time to get to know my neighbors and land better, time to be together.  Obviously not everyone owns their own business, and has the flexibility of sometimes choosing to work from home.  But we do all have many choices each week, to stay home or go out.  What if we made the radical choice to stay home?

Be sure to check out the other Steps Towards Balance through Nicola’s inspiring blog Which Name?, and also the other One Small Change participants – this is the last month for One Small Change, which has been leading up to Earth Day.

First, let’s back up to last month’s pledge to say goodbye to the grocery store.   I was definitely tempted a few time, but once my mind accepted that there was not going to be any grocery trips this month, I didn’t really think about it very much.  Which was a relief.  Sometimes choices, instead of freeing us, seem to create mind clutter – having the option of running out to the store to get just a few things, for me, is one of those.  I actually started this step in mid-January, and I did end up going to the coop last Saturday (one day before the end of the month!).  What did I buy?  Cheese.  I just couldn’t take eating the same three cheeses from the bakery any more.  I almost drove all the way to Northampton for the Winter Farmer’s Market, to see if anyone there had cheese, but Ben convinced me I was being nutty (I think he was right).  So, I bought cheese, a few local apples, a few bananas as a rare treat for Ella, a pint of locally made ice cream, and we had some lunch while we were there.  Overall, I’m really grateful for the past month and a half, for showing me how possible it is to, at least, shop very infrequently, and with a lot more care.

Onward!  Welcome to my kitchen sink.  I’ve been thinking about the possibility of hand-washing our clothes for years now.  Last spring, reading the incredible Mary Jane’s Idea Book, Cook Book, Life Book, I read about a woman who currently washes her family’s clothes by hand, with a washboard.  She described doing that day’s dirty clothes each day, and I felt, suddenly, that I was not completely cracked to be considering this.  Here, in print, was someone else who was actually doing it, had been doing it for years, and felt there was something of value in doing so.  So, I ordered a glass washboard and wringer (new – couldn’t find them in our local used/antique stores, and it wasn’t something I was comfortable getting used online) last summer, and they’ve been patiently waiting for me.

(Ella washing dishes in Montreal, January 2010)

In December, we started washing our dishes by hand, which also seemed a little scary at first.  I love it.  I love not having to unload a huge dishwasher full of dishes, while always having waiting dirty dishes piling up.  I love not hearing the machine.  I know there is a dispute that using a dishwasher (loaded fully) is more water-efficient that hand-washing, but of course this depends how you wash your dishes by hand.  (I use the “drought” technique from Ellen Sandbeck’s excellent Organic Housekeeping).

One of the things Ben and I think about a lot is true efficiency versus the illusion of efficiency.  Dishwashers (and washing machines) are supposed to be convenient, and time-savers, right?  With handwashing, we found that we spent about the same amount of time on the dishes (but it was more pleasant, and something our whole family could do together).  Beyond that actual time, when you consider the time spent working to pay for the dishwasher, the electricity to run it, the repairs to maintain it, the footprint in your kitchen . . . Well, to us, it seems that dishwashers fall into the category of “efficiency illusion.”  To my surprise, my absolute favorite part of the day currently is spent washing the day’s dishes after dinner, listening to Ben and Ella read books together in the living room.

So, bolstered by our success with the dishes, I feel ready to take on the laundry!

Why hand-wash laundry?  Folks who hand-wash say, most notably, that washing machines are only good at cleaning clean clothes.  One shocking fact is that when washing machines were introduced, the time women spent doing laundry remained the same (my guess is that we cleaned more laundry – since it seems so “easy,” we aren’t careful to wash only those items that really need it).  A washing machine washes the whole garment, with no special attention to dirty spots, which you pay attention to by hand.  Washing machines also put a lot of stress on clothes, reducing their life.  (Hmmm, hastily made clothes by big companies, washed in machines that break them down further, causing us to buy more clothes more often – sound like a plan for making money?)

Also, I have found more and more in my life that I like doing work by hand.  Colin Beavin writes beautifully about this in No Impact Man, where he did most of the housework, and so does Amanda Blake Soule in Handmade Home (and many others, I’m sure – check out Kyrie’s thoughts here).  The idea that housework is drudgery sells a whole lot of products, and also compels more and more of us into the paid workforce, adding to the almighty GDP.

Part of my motivation is that our washer/dryer currently live in the kitchen (why oh why?).  We moved the dryer into our pantry last month as part of our cleaning frenzy (we never use it anyway).  I have gotten quotes from plumbers to move the washer there (over $1,000 – no thanks!).  If hand-washing turns out to be something we would like to continue, we could unplug the washer and move it out, too!  Oh, the thought is almost too exciting.  (Ben, by the way, has been working for at least a year to be very conscientious about his clothing, so that our laundry loads are greatly reduced – I followed his example.)

So, I’ll be hand-washing our laundry this month.  I started yesterday (Monday is my laundry day), and so far so good!  I did our sheets first (washed in the bathtub, since they’re too big for the kitchen sink), and when I went to put the king-sized flannel sheet through the wringer, I was nervous, but it fit through!  (Ella couldn’t resist the wringer, which reminds me a lot of a pasta maker.)  The wringer really does take out an amazing amount of water – some things actually come through feeling almost dry.  It was so sunny and mild, even with snow on the ground, that I hung one of our sheets outside on the line to dry – the first of the season!  Drudgery, or beauty?

(Don’t forget to check out some of the other folks making changes this month – inspiring!  Also, the spring edition of Rhythm of the Home is up and amazing.)  Here’s to March!

In the nuttiness of this past week, I didn’t get a chance yet to post about my February pledge for the One Small Change Project.  (By the way, if you haven’t checked out the site, there is a lot of really amazing inspiration to be found by the over 200 participants!)

In January, I wanted to get cracking on some insulated curtains and draft snakes – and I did it!  I made two curtains (starting with the draftiest, north-facing windows in our most used rooms, kitchen and living room), and two draft snakes for the other living room windows, plus two almost-finished snakes for our bedroom.  I made the curtains with the outer layer of a thick, upholstery-weight fabric, wool quilt batting inside, and a pretty quilting-weight fabric for the inside (the side that faces the room). I have more to sew, for sure, but a good start.

(yeah, we really do need more insulation – this lazy Susan in our kitchen doubles as a root cellar!)

And now . . . February!  Goodbye to the grocery store. I actually hope to keep this going the whole year (and beyond!), but let’s start with a month.  I haven’t been to the store since we came home from Montreal in January.

First, why avoid the grocery store? There’s always the driving, which we obsessively try to avoid, other than our drive to work and back home (and that kills us – if you know of an affordable 30 acre farm biking distance to Wheatberry let me know!)  There’s the industrial food chain, which is our life’s work to avoid, and while our local coops do carry some local veggies, 90% of what’s inside comes from the factory system.

Also, lately, I had noticed a disturbing behavior developing with Ella in the store.  She was becoming obssessed with buying stuff.  Ack!  You may recall that we are not too keen on stuff. Walking through the grocery store with Ella, she was suddenly aware that everything there could, in theory, be purchased by us.  And she wanted it.  I was finding myself buying things I really didn’t want to buy (say, a juice box with a plastic straw wrapped in another plastic liner), because it was better than the candy bar she really wanted.  Ugh.  I was also finding myself buying things I didn’t really want or need.  Stores are, after all, set up to inspire these behaviors in us, and they do a good job.

Plus, now that we have locally grown grains, we actually don’t need anything from the store!

How are we doing it?  We have a winter (root vegetable) CSA share, we have a pantry bursting with our grain & bean CSA share, our local meat CSA, a pantry still heartily stocked with food we preserved from the summer (yay!  I am still humbled and amazed that we were able to do this), and we get milk and eggs from local farms.  What am I missing here?  We bring home supplies like baking soda, baking powder, vinegar, and recycled toilet paper from our bakery (although now I’m really contemplating the family cloth, thanks to Suzy).  We try to make our own vinegar, make or buy locally made soap, and we don’t really drink wine or beer except on very rare occasions.

I have certainly been tempted a few times already to go to the coop, to get some item that would be tasty (ice cream),  just to get out of the house, or to get something that seems like it would make dinner “easier.”  So far, I’ve resisted temptation, and each time, I’ve been relieved that I did.  Here’s wishing you luck with your own small changes in your lives!

Added on Feb 8:

I just wanted to say that I in no way mean this to seem as an attack on coops.  We love our local coop – we are, actually, dues-paying members.  If I didn’t have the option of ordering various goods bulk through the bakery, I would go the route of some of the families we know, who place bulk orders through the coop (a wonderful service they provide) every month or so.  It is the addictive nature of buying from stores that I am trying to break away from, and the purchasing of goods from the industrial system.

And I finished one of the six insulated curtains I hope to make.  The first one is the hardest (I hope) – I got really frustrated after sewing this together the wrong way the first time (grrr), but now it’s done, it’s up, and the house is just a bit warmer and consuming a little less energy to heat.  Onward!

In crafting news that doesn’t have to do with insulation, I finally wanted to post photos of our completed “Special Project Number 27″, as my dad called it when he was here visiting.  The week before Christmas, in the midst of total grain processing and scaling insanity, we came home at night, ate dinner, and then worked on this doll together after Ella went to sleep.  On the one hand, it was “work,” but on the other hand, it was relaxing, tactile, loving work for the pleasure of giving something handmade to our daughter.  It was truly special to get to work on this together with Ben (I cut and sewed the fabric, Ben did the wool stuffing and the embroidery on the fingers and fingernails, I embroidered the face and sewed on the hair).  My dad couldn’t resist working on some of the stuffing, too.  So here she is – not perfectly symmetrical (or perfect in any way), but full of our love.  Meet dolly.

I also want to remind you to join the voices calling for help in Haiti.  If you can, take just a few moments to write to your representative (find them here – it seriously takes seconds).  Don’t know what to say?  You can even copy my letter below.  I also hope to list a handmade skirt with Craft Hope Haiti over the next few days, and I recommend Paul Farmer’s charity for donations – they’ve already been helping Haitians for over 20 years.  (You may know his name from the incredible book Mountains Beyond Mountains.)

Dear Congressman Olver,
I’m joining mothers and fathers across our country to ask that you join the effort to expedite the passports, visas, and adoptions of Haitian orphans.  I understand that the paperwork and bureaucracy is in place for a good reason, but if ever there was a time to move quickly, it is now.  Let us save lives and open our arms, as we have done since the creation of this country, to help those in desperate need.  Thank you.

There’s just no explaining in words the satisfaction, and the taste of truly fresh food grown by your own hands.  A fresh egg, taken from the nest box and cracked in the pan – nothing can compare with that flavor, or with that nutritional value.  If our diet-obssesed, calorie-counting, vitamin-popping culture would only plant a few seeds, imagine the tastebud hallelujahs, the healthy bodies.

So often, guests at our table rave about how delicious the food is.  We always try to explain that the ingredients are the answer – we are not genius cooks, we are cooks who grow our food.  There will always be reasons not to start – try to find reasons to start.  When we moved to our current place, there was no tilled soil (it was all woods and grass), not enough sunlight, and incredibly rocky soils (we live on “The Ledge”).  We still don’t have ideal sun exposure, the soils are still crazy stony, but we grow a lot of food, for ourselves and the bakery.

Growing your own also can’t be beat for fostering connection to the land.  Without this connection, this daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal, physical connection to the earth beneath, around, above us, we cannot hope to save her and ourselves.  If we are not connected, it is easy to think we don’t need the earth (which is of course, terrifyingly common and completely untrue).  What more can I say?  Get your hands dirty, be it in an herb pot in your window, your front lawn (which you probably currently spend time mowing), or the back forty.

Some books to get you going:

The Vegetable Gardener’s Bible: Discover Ed’s High-Yield W-O-R-D System for All North American Gardening Regions by Edward C. Smith  (cheesy title – but the book we’ve used the most)

The New Organic Grower: A Master’s Manual of Tools and Techniques for the Home and Market Gardener (A gardener’s supply book) by Eliot Coleman

Small Farmers Journal

and for the hard-core growers out there:

Weed the Soil, Not the Crop by Anne & Eric Nordell – you’ll have to send them a check in Pennsylvania to get it, but you can check out the introductory version here. (ordering info is at the end of the article)  Ben loves this so much he’s talking about screening the dvd at the bakery!