I recently ran across a story about a Native American tribal leader describing his own inner struggles.  He said, “There are two dogs inside me.  One of the dogs is mean and evil.  The other dog is good.  The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.”  Someone asked him which dog usually wins, and after a moment’s reflection, he answered, “The one I feed the most.”

-Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

I just finished re-reading The Happiness Project, and I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness.  About how sometimes we are holding so tightly to how we think things should be that we miss the beauty right in front of us.  About how easily I clench up and get locked inside wanting things my way.  About remembering to feed the good dog, and the freedom and peace that comes from consistently doing that.  Every day, I remember these things, and I forget them.  And then, hopefully, I remember again.  I imagine it will be like this most of my life, except hopefully I will start to remember more often than not.

“. . . if I have a heart to be contented, I think I may reckon myself as happy a man as any is in the world . . .” (Samuel Pepys)  Do I have a heart to be contented?  I’m thinking about bringing back Gratitude Fridays here in this space, because that was so helpful to me.  This morning, I’m grateful for a healthy family, for these quiet moments in the early morning, for the cat purring in my lap, for the will to rise early and sit my bum down on the meditation cushion, for an incredible husband, daughter, and son, for health-giving foods in my kitchen, and for the chance to be here and share with you.

Blessings on your week, friends.

Grateful for my first food other than miso and chicken broth – I craved cabbage soup.

Grateful for family visiting, warm fires, and these brave little candles in the window.

Grateful that this vest is almost done!  (I took this photo for Yarn Along, but our power was out Wednesday.)  Happy Hannukah, Happy December – may your inner lights be bright as the days grow shorter.

I’m grateful for the new cat in our life, a sweet grey fluffy girl named Jasper.

I’m grateful for the arrival of a very dear old friend, who is here for Thanksgiving!

I’m grateful for our customers, and our community, which helps us do the work we love.

I’m grateful for successful homemade tortillas (recipe soon!) for dinner last night, and a gathering of friends for dinner tonight.

I’m grateful for my sweet three year old – three and a half next week!  Whose favorite game right now is that she is the dancer, and I am the audience.  Have I mentioned that the audience gets to knit?  I hope it never ends.

I’m grateful, always, for those moments in the day when my hands find their work and know what to do.  When I do not need to enter elaborate mental negotiations, do not need to reign in my temper, my own crankiness, or figure out how to get someone’s shoes on without outright coercion or force.  When I can simply haul a bale of hay, shape loaves, knit a few stitches, make some small beauty.

I’m grateful for this space, and for my camera, which reminds me that there is some beauty in each day, and that where we put our focus is where our hearts and minds follow.  May some beauty and peace find you in this busy season.

Some days, I do not get to start my morning on my mat.

Some days we seem to wake up attached to our difficulties.

Some days feel like walking up a steep hill, sliding on thousands of tiny pebbles.

Some days, thousands of pounds of grain appear and get loaded into your horse stall, ready to be distributed to CSA members tomorrow, and you walk outside to greet your farmers, then realize you have paint smeared all over your face.

Some days, you give in and give yourself and your child a nap.  Some days, your daughter, the one who has spent the morning wicked crabby, wakes up and says, Mommy, I really really like you.

Some days go on and on, but somehow dinner gets made, and the table gets set, and everyone does sit down together.  Candles are lit, a blessing is said, and we are, indeed, blessed.

Blessing on your weekend, friends.  For those of you who are members, we’ll see you tomorrow, and joyfully give you the first half of your shares!

This week, I’m grateful for many things – the excitement in the air at the bakery with all the students returning to town, delicious new jam and mustards from Patti on the shelf at Wheatberry, our new tradition at home of veggie pizza on Sundays (so good! and so easy), the chance to help a friend clear some clutter, and many wonderful moments spent with Ben and Ella.

I’ve been practicing some serious gratitude lately, as I try to when life seems overwhelming.  One of the Yoga Sutras urges us to consider the opposite of our first reaction, and I’ve found this to be extremely challenging, and extremely gratifying.  Yesterday, I really needed to get our car inspected.  My usual thought is, “Ugh, I don’t have time for this, I don’t want to do this,” etc etc.  But I stopped myself and said (mentally, in a very cheerful voice), “How delightful!  I get to have the car inspected today.  How lucky I am to have a car, and to live in a place where we inspect them for safety.”

And you know what?  It was delightful.  I walked across the street and got a cold drink, I sat and read a book, and ten minutes later, it was done.  How lucky.

May luck and gratitude find you this weekend, friends.

If this be the world, let us continue
as we are today-clean pants
and green sweaters, the river pounding
below us, buttery light coming
through tall windows onto worn
wooden floors. If the truth
cannot be known,
if this be the world, let it go
on.  Where leaves have fallen,
let them fall again.

(c) 2005

First – my favorite moment this week, for which I am so grateful, amidst turmoil and our whole family being really sick:

Standing in the twilight drizzle, feeding the chickens with Ella, watching her gather weeds for them, and “read” them a story about bunnies.

I hope you’ll forgive me for mish-mashing a bunch of things together here – we’ve been very busy training new staff, planting, and then we all got really sick!  So, these would have been several posts, but I’m just going to put them all together here.

***

Grain Cleaning 101:

For those of you who got grain shares with us in 2009, or anyone who grows their own grain, or gets it from a local farm, you have probably encountered some grains that still have hulls, and some weed seeds.  We had particular trouble getting our oats clean last year, despite a lot of effort (remember Ben cleaning on Christmas Day?).  We tried to explain to everyone how to use water to clean off the hulls and weed seeds, but in case we didn’t get you, here we go!

You can do a small or large batch of grains at a time – at home, I usually clean about 1/2 cup of oats at a time, to cook for breakfast, but at the bakery Ben has cleaned several quarts at a time.  Just make sure you size your containers appropriately.  In the photo, you see about 2 cups of oats in a quart mason jar, filled most of the way with water.  Pour in your grain first, then fill with water.  Right away you will see hulled grains and weed seeds floating at the top – pour them off, or skim them with a spoon or ladle.  Then take a spoon (or your hand, if you’re working with larger quantities in a big bucket), and stir up the grains and water.  Let them settle, and you’ll have more hulled grain and weed seeds on top.  Pour or skim them off, and repeat at least three or four times, until there’s nothing more floating to the top when you stir.  Voila – clean grain!  If you’re going to cook it whole, go right ahead.  If you’re going to mill it, or aren’t going to cook it right away, spread it out on a cookie sheet to dry (this takes 6-12 hours).  Enjoy.

***

And now, something I’m really excited about – Nixtamal.  Nixtamalization is the process of adding lime (alkaline, not the citrus fruit) to dent corn, to soften the skin and make it more digestible.  Nixtamalization turns dent corn into hominy (also known as posole).  I’ve been meaning to try and find a recipe for this, and then a CSA member mentioned that he had been making it from Wild Fermentation, which I had on my bookshelf at home!  Sandor Ellis Katz  rocks, as always.  (Katz notes that whole nixtamalization is not a fermentation process, he includes it in his book because it’s a necessary first step in order to make a traditional fermented corn drink.)  So, below is his recipe, straight from Wild Fermentation:

Homemade Posole:

(to make about 4 cups of posole)

2 cups dent corn (whole, dried corn – not popcorn or sweet corn)

water

1/2 cup wood ash OR 2 tablespoons hydrated lime (also called calcium hydroxide – you can get it from pickling/canning suppliers or agricultural suppliers, just be sure it’s food grade!  I used wood ashes from our woodstove – be sure if you use ashes that they aren’t from pressure-treated wood or plywood, and sift them first to remove large chunks.)

Soak the corn in double its volume of water for 12-24 hours.

Strain off the water, and transfer the soaked corn to a pressure cooker or other large cooking pot (Katz doesn’t mention Crock-Pots, but I think they would work well).

Add 8 cups of water to the pot, add lime or sifted wood ash.  Bring to a boil, and pressure cook for 1 hour or boil for about 3 hours, stirring periodically.  (Note to our CSA members: I found that our corn cooked in about 2 hours instead of 3.)

To test for doneness, rub a kernel of corn between your fingers to see if the skin is loose.  If so, remove from heat; if not, continue cooking.

Rinse the corn, kneading and rubbing it to loosen and remove the skins.  Rinse until the water is clear. You’ve made posole!

Now, you can cook with the posole, adding it to soups, stews, or chili, grind it into a dough for tortillas and tamales, or make some fun fermented things, like Katz does.  We ate ours on the side with black beans and it was super delicious!

***

Ok, I’m off to bed for some rest and recovery – wishing you all blessings on your weekend, and a day of rest.

The table cleared, the candles burning low, night coming on.

And this:

These strong men with gentle souls.

* * *

Some places to look and love:

From Kyce – mourning the oil spill, and How to be an Eco-Housewife Tips - really great.

From Heather at Shivaya Naturals – at last, a “ravelry” for sewing: My Sewing Circle, and she has an amazing giveaway right now.

Have you seen Simple Homeschool put together by the wonderful Jamie?

Donna Ashton is running a great series of workshops (free audio talks by different folks, basically) at The Mindful Connection.

The always wise Carrie has a great post called How Can I Love Staying at Home With My Children?

* * *

Blessings on your weekend, everyone!

I dream that I am a cabbage.

I find an unloved piece of land

and I begin to plant:

two rows of cabbages, and then

I fill the woolen earth with more

seeds.  Carrots, potatoes, squash, wheat.

They grow taller, I tend them gently, at night

I sleep in a bed of soft leaves.

When they are ready, my little cabbages gather their silk dresses

and begin to walk.  They each find another

piece of earth, hidden in cities or empty fields,

they begin to plant.

(c) April 2010

(photo by Seth Seeger)

This is taken from far away, but can you see Ella riding on Ben’s back here, while he drives Cole?  Ella, Seth, Cole, and Ben had a little adventure while Mama was baking yesterday afternoon!

(photo by Ben)

Grateful for our good earth.

Grateful for our winter wheat trials coming up, looking healthy and strong.

Grateful for flowers to come.

We are all so grateful for spring.  Blessings on your weekend.

]]> http://www.localgrain.org/fieldsandfire/2010/04/09/gratitude-friday-april-8/feed/ 5