Hello Mamas,

Many thanks to those of you who joined us last Sunday at Nurture – it is always a blessing to sit and share with all of you, and I’m deeply grateful for the time we take together.
This month, we talked about the importance of taking time for retreat – intentionally setting aside a few minutes each day, each week to recharge, replenish your spirit, mind, and body.  This time can be before the rest of your family wakes up, during naptime, while your children are at school, or after everyone else goes to sleep .  . . any time where you are alone and *not* doing housework or running errands.  This is soul time.
I took part of my inspiration on this topic from the book Scream-Free Parenting, which I picked up at the library a few weeks ago.  Many of us have heard the term “putting on your own oxygen mask first,” but I think most of us don’t actually act that way in real life.  We feed our children first, we make sure everyone else gets enough sleep, etc . . .  The author of the book makes some great points about the importance of self-nurture – mainly, that without nurturing ourselves, we can’t do as good a job nurturing others.  He argues that the highest form of love is to show love to ourselves first, so that we can then be available to love others.  Another way of saying this is that if we don’t take care of ourselves and we’re full of crankiness, anger, resentments, etc . . . instead of giving love to our families, we’ll be passing along all that negativity.  Also, if we don’t intentionally create retreats (even tiny ones), we end up escaping instead – freaking out and running away, escaping into facebook, romance novels, mindless movies,chocolate, etc – things that don’t truly nurture us and don’t actually help resolve the issue, only create a momentary feeling of comfort or numbing-out.
So, last Sunday we had a little retreat!  Sarah provided some lovely herbal tea, face rubs, hand massages, etc, and we all took some time to take care of our bodies, these vessels that work so hard and do so much for us!  A retreat at home might be as simple as drinking a cup of tea or taking a hot bath.  Reading a nurturing, inspiring book, or connecting with a friend.  Giving yourself a foot massage, or a face scrub (we did a great combo of flax seeds mixed with water, rinse, then yogurt and honey, rinse).  Taking a  walk, praying, or practicing yoga or meditation – I just started this program and I’m loving it so far – 10 minutes a day for 28 days: http://www.yogajournal.com/meditationinvitation/

If you have other Nurturing Retreat ideas to share, please do!

Also, Masako is going to share a link with the group to a program that guides you through examining your goals and setting intentions for the coming year.  We talked about remembering warmth when you reflect over this past year, and the year to come.  Instead of focusing on your failures, or things you want to eliminate in your life, what qualities would you like to increase in yourself?  Playfulness?  Positivity? Patience?  Generosity?  Warmth?

I look forward to seeing all you again soon, and remember that in this dark time of year, it takes a little extra effort to tend our inner lights and keep them burning brightly.  Sarah reminded us all that even the simple act of lighting a candle at dinner can be a beautiful reminder of the Light in us all.
Blessings,

Adrie

P.S.  I hope all of you will consider helping Lisa and her family in their time of need this holiday season.  Thank you!

Thank you so much for all your kind responses to my last post – I’m really glad you all enjoyed it so much!

After the slaughter on Tuesday night, we kept working an hour or two each day, to pack all the primal cuts in salt (more on that later, I promise), and freeze a few things (ribs!  amazing!).  I rendered a lot of lard.  A lot.  And I’m still working on it! (I render lard by cutting fatback into large chunks, putting it in the crockpot with 1/4 cup of water, and letting it cook on low for most of the day.  Towards the end, I crack the lid to let the water escape – it keeps the fat from burning at the beginning.  Then, I strain it, and put it in the freezer.  Fantastic for cooking with – and a good natural source of Vitamin D!)

On Saturday, we told lots of friends that we would be cooking up various odd bits and making some yummy charcuterie, and invited them to join the fun.  We started at about 11 in the morning, and went on until about 9 pm.  First, I got started on the Presskopf or Pate de Tete (headcheese).   Lots of parts had been sitting in an herbed brine, waiting to be used for this.

I skinned the trotters (feet) and when the first friend arrived, he helped me skin the head (which had been cut in half, and had the tongue taken out).  Head, tongue, trotters, snout – it all went into a big stockpot with herbs, celery, and carrots, and just enough water to cover, and then we simmered it all day.  After a few hours, we took out the tongue and trotters.  A friend took the skin off the tongue and chopped it up into small pieces – all the kids loved it and kept saying “More tongue! more tongue!”  We took the meat off the trotters, too.  (I mostly used the recipe from Forgotten Skills for this – she calls it Brawn).

Once the Pate de Tete was simmering, some friends started cleaning out the sausage casings (small intestines).  After soaking them for days, we untied the ends, let water run through them, and ran our fingers down them, helping to strip out the lining.  As you can see, this was not a torturous task, lol.

We set those aside once they were cleaned, and started chopping apples and onions for the blood sausage and pate.  I looked at recipes from Forgotten Skills, Charcuterie, and Salumi, and sort of made up my own for these.  If anyone wants the recipes, I’ll try to remember them and post them   By now, everyone was ready for lunch – we cut up some of the bacon into lardons and sauteed them with mushrooms and onions.  We had roasted butternut squash, and lentils . . .  and by then, the smoked pork shoulder was ready to eat!  We had dry rubbed an entire front shoulder with yummy spices a few days before, smoked it briefly, then slow cooked it in the oven.  At this point in the day, there were only 4 adults and 3 small children (and a baby) present, so I thought we wouldn’t make much of a dent on such a huge piece of meat.  Wrong!  It would be pretty accurate to say that we mauled the entire shoulder, and by the time another friend arrived about 30 minutes later, there were only a few shreds of meat left.  (Sorry, Carrie!)

We sauteed the onions until soft, then sauteed the apples.  For the pate and sausage, I mixed up some allspice, nutmeg, and ginger (quatre epices, except I didn’t have any white pepper).  For the pate, we used our new sausage grinder to grind fatback and some meat up.  We also ground some liver, although it might have been sufficient to chop it (it sort of pureed in the grinder).  We added onions, apple, cream, eggs,my spice blend, and salt.  We fried up a little bit to make sure the seasonings were right.  I must say that even though he’s a huge fan of chicken liver pate and foie gras, for some reason Ben was skeptical about how good the pig liver pate would be.  Maybe because it’s uncommon.  However, as soon as he taste-tested it for seasoning, he was completely in love with it (and so was everyone else at the party, some of whom don’t usually eat liver).  We had a lot of pate (and didn’t even use the whole liver – I kept some to eat sliced and fried) – probably 4 quarts.  We filled up a  bowl to bake for dinner, and lots of mason jars for the freezer and friends.  We baked it in a water bath at 300 F until it was 150 in the center.  Amazing, and so nourishing.

We made the blood sausage after dinner – pigs blood, cream, eggs, spice blend, and ground fat.  It was supposed to fit through this funnel into the casing, but our mixture was too chunky, so we used the sausage stuffer.

Holy moly, this made a huge mess!  Blood literally flew all over the kitchen, which was luckily pretty hilarious.  We stuffed the casings, tied them, and then poached them.  At that point, they can either be refrigerated for use in a few days, frozen for later, and fried in a pan to crisp the skin when they’re ready to be eaten.  We had to try one of course, even though everyone was ridiculously stuffed at that point.  Delicious!

Yes, my kitchen got completely covered in pork fat and blood, but it was totally worth it.  (I’m still finishing up the pate de tete.)  This was such a fun day, making so many unusual treats and sharing the experience with good friends.  I’m so grateful to everyone who came, grateful for all the incredible bounty we have to share, and grateful to share it here!

Tuesday evening, with the Blood Moon shining down on us, we harvested our first pig on the farm, joining a long line of tradition, all those who came before us in raising animals with love, and taking their lives with gratitude and respect.  This is the exact time of year when animal slaughters have always begun – it’s cold enough now not to need refrigeration, and the abundant harvest foods for the animals is depleting.

Personally, we feel that as omnivores, we should participate in the actual taking of life, and take responsibility for our part of that relationship.  We’ve slaughtered chickens before, but a large mammal feels very different.  As someone who has now witnessed birth and death, I truly think that if your heart is open, you can find beauty and awe in both.  Warning: this post does contain some “graphic” photos.

With friends, some of our staff from Wheatberry, and the help of an experienced young man named Felix, we began by giving thanks.  I said a blessing for the pig, her spirit, and the nourishment she will provide us, and we went around the circle and introduced ourselves and talked about something we were grateful for.  I was really thankful that Felix really encouraged everyone to remain emotionally present, to keep returning to gratitude.  At this point, Ella wanted to go inside for the actual kill, so we went in and watched from the window.

(Before all of this, actually, we prepared by making food for all our helpers, and by giving the pigs some beer to get them drunk – Ben’s idea.)  Felix talked everyone through what would happen, and then opened up the paddock and everyone got ready.  We had a large bucket and a whisk ready, to catch the blood and whisk so it wouldn’t coagulate (to make blood sausage with – more on that another day).

Ella and I watched from a window inside – it was dark and the pigs were all sleeping.  Felix took aim carefully between one pig’s eyes, and shot her, then quickly cut her jugular to bleed her.  One of our fantastic helpers whisked as the blood came out, while other folks pumped the pig’s legs to help it all come out quickly.  Then they carried her out of the paddock on a pallet.  She was much bigger than we’d expected!

At this point, Ella wanted to rejoin the group, so we went out and watched as they singed off the hair and scraped with knives to remove it.  This is more commonly done by dunking the hog into scalding water (or pouring water over the hog) and scraping it – which is what I think we’ll do next time.  Unfortunately, the singeing method really charred the skin (which otherwise could be cooked up as cracklin, and left on most of the cuts of meat), so that we had to remove all of the skin from the cuts of meat.  It was quite a sight – we had our first snow that day, which made a dramatic backdrop.  One of our helpers, a loyal Wheatberry customer, was the torch-wielder.

I brought the blood inside, strained it, and immediately froze it in jars – we weren’t making sausage for a few days, and blood is extremely perishable (it’s illegal to sell in the US).

Back outside, they finished scraping and brought the pig into our garage/barn, where they tied up one leg and hoisted her up using one of the rafters.  The next step was the make the belly incision, to release all of the internal organs and cool down the body cavity.  This part, which could have been very “gross” was actually really amazing, in large part due to Felix’s knowledge and clear love of teaching all about the anatomy and incredible miracle of this pig’s body.

He made a careful, slow incision through the skin and fat, and then through the connective tissues, allowing the intestines to come out.  The heart and lungs had to be released, which he did by reaching in with his hand.  Soon enough, everything was in a big bucket, and Felix proceeded to walk us through each organ, talking about its function in the body, showing some of its beauty and also talking about how it could be prepared.

Isn’t the caul fat beautiful?

Next came the most incredible part of the night, in my opinion, which Ben luckily caught on video.  This was one of those moments where we truly got a glimpse of the incredible Mystery that is in us and around us, the beauty which is all through us.  You might not think that watching someone inflate a set of pig lungs would be an amazing experience, but it was, and I really encourage you to watch this video.

At this point, we were putting the various organs into jars and taking them inside to freeze.  I took the small intestines inside and starting cleaning them out to use in a few days as sausage casings (rinsing them several times with water, then tying one end, filling it with water, tying the second end, and placing them in a jar filled with water.  After a few days, open them and the inside lining should flush out, and they’re ready to be used or frozen until you’re ready to use them.)

Gabriel finally fell asleep in the Ergo, and Ella stayed awake until after 9, totally interested in everything that was happening.  A few helpers left, and folks came in and out of the kitchen, eating the food I had prepared (to my surprise, no one’s appetite seemed phased).  Finally, Ella was ready for bed, and I put both the little ones to sleep.  While I was upstairs with them, out in the barn, the crew used a saw to cut the carcass in half, remove the feet and head.

I came downstairs and starting cleaning up the kitchen, making space for the meat I knew was about to start coming in.  I made a brine bath in a large bucket, and we put the head, trotters (feet), ears, and snout into it, with some herbs.  I cleaned out some more intestines, started rendering some of the lard in the crockpot, and wiped down the table.  In the barn, they cut the pig into quarters and brought them in.  (The camera got really foggy coming in from the cold barn).  At this point, it was almost midnight.

Because we are going to be salt-curing almost all of this first pig, we left the meat in primal cuts – front shoulder (called Pork Butt in America, cured it will be spalla and coppa), back shoulder (ham/prosciutto), belly (bacon), loin (lonza), jowls (guanciale – jowl bacon).  We spent another hour or so starting to trim off the skin (due to the charred aroma, which we were worried would penetrate the meat), rub everything down with salt, and pack it away.  We cooked up the two tenderloins with some fresh rosemary and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar – it was delicious, and vibrant.

Finally, at 1:30 am, we called it a night.  We had an extra fridge designated to become the curing fridge, which we carefully plugged in a few weeks ago to be sure it was working (yes) but when we plugged it in on Tuesday – 60 degrees.  Luckily, it was refrigerator temperature in our outside porch, so we crammed a lot into the fridge and put the rest outside.  I wiped down the kitchen and fell into bed.  The next morning, the fridge looked like this:

We moved some things around, froze some ribs, etc, and now the fridge looks like this – packed to the gills with salted pork.  We’re having a charcuterie party tomorrow, making blood sausage, head cheese (worst name ever), stuffed stomach, and country pate!  So many things I’ve never done or tried – we’ll be sharing them with you, too, so stay posted . . . And have a great weekend!

With deep gratitude, we’re preparing for our first pig harvest today. With a lot of friends, an experienced butcher, some great books, and some beer (for the pigs, not for us), we’re as ready as we’ll ever be.

Since we last spoke, this baby got his first teeth.  First, the two on bottom, and soon enough, the two on top.  Can you see them peeking through?

Can you believe it? Someone said to me a few days ago that Christmas is almost here.  Hold on, folks!  This baby of mine will be one at Christmas, not to mention there’s serious knitting to be done before Christmas arrives.  Slow down, November, December, we need a little more time with this sweet babe, who spends most of his time demanding my hands so that he can run (yes, run) around.

Or be pushed by a fabulous big sister.

Wishing you and yours a delicious Thanksgiving, filled with local nourishing foods and good family love.  (Have you shared this fabulous free Sparkle story with your little ones?  Or this one?)  We’ll be harvesting our first pig in the next few days, and then jumping in to the December whirlwind of PVHG CSA distributions – wish us luck!  With love,

Adrie

Inspired by a recent conversation with a lovely new customer at Wheatberry, I wanted to share some great local resources for those in the Valley, and some winter warming recipes, for all of you, wherever you may be!

For locals:
If you don’t already know about it, the Amherst Saturday Farmer’s Market is still going until Thanksgiving, and then after a brief break the Winter Farmer’s Market will begin, every Saturday at the middle school – hooray! For local pasture-raised, fantastic meats we’ve been happy members for years of the Chestnut Farms meat CSA, which provides a monthly selection of frozen meats (and we use a lot of their meat in our sandwiches!). Another great source of certified organic, 100% grass-fed meats and cheeses is Chase Hill Farms, another Wheatberry vendor, who can be found at the Amherst Farmers Market.

Some favorite warming cold-weather recipes include:

Cassoulet

Cholent

How to Make a Perfect Roast Chicken, and then . . . How to Make Fabulous Nourishing Chicken Broth

a great side dish for Thanksgiving is Sweet Potato Pecan Balls

and a favorite soup we’ll be making soon at Wheatberry – Sweet Potato Coconut Bisque

Bon Appetit!

Joining Ginny for Yarn Along . . .

(Sorry for the dark photo – I’ve got to remember to take my yarn along shots earlier in the day!)  I’m about halfway done with Gabriel’s Plain Pickles cardigan – the body and one sleeve are finished.  It’s been nice and easy, just as I’d hoped, and so neat to see some of our own yarn turning into a sweater!  And yes, everything I’m knitting is green, apparently.

Ella and I have been loving the book Yoga Kids (it has lots of photos of actual kids doing the poses, plus some great ideas for movement games), and listening to Dance for the Sun, a great cd of kids yoga music (sweet, but not grossly corny).  I’ve been neglecting my own practice, and tonight I joined Ella on the mat and it felt so amazing – I think my whole back cracked when I did Downward Facing Dog.  In preparation for our pig harvest and curing, Ben’s reading Salumi, and I just started reading Primal Body, Primal Mind, which is definitely thought-provoking.

Some of you haven’t heard from me in a long while – our sites got hacked and the rss feed was messed up, so welcome back!  I’ve been here, but it’s so lovely to all be here together again – be sure and leave a comment and tell me how you’ve been.

This month has been pretty wild for us.  October is our busiest month of the year, so that is both fantastic and challenging.  This year, Gabriel just got his first two teeth (!) so there’s been a lot of screaming and not a lot of sleeping for Mama and baby.  So I’ve been practicing being patient (often not successfully), practicing beholding – simply trying to stop and see some beauty in the moment, even the really crazy ones.  Practicing giving us all some warmth.

Sometimes photos like these help – fall bounty from our totally neglected garden, a baby learning to stand, a girl chopping vegetables to make an Autumn gratin, trees down to make sun exposure for the solar panels we plan to put up in the spring – may they bless us all.

Joining Ginny for Yarn Along . . .

Ella’s Phoebe sweater is coming along.  I have solid hopes that I’ll finish both the wee ones’ sweaters by Christmas.  For a moment, I got a little too excited and also started this hat for Ella, and a vest for the little babe.  Hmmm.  Like I mentioned, I’m reading and loving Homemaking and Personal Development - lots of great ideas to choose from, and lots of honest humor and grace.  With thanks to Kyce, Lisa, and Melanie, for reading along with me, and for telling me about it in the first place!

Some thoughts about warmth, from our recent mother’s circle. I thought you might like them, too.

This month we talked about *warmth*. The days are getting chilly and it’s time to be bundling ourselves and our children up – Mamas of children under 7, this is especially for you. Your small ones do not know when they’re cold, and they need as many layers as you, plus one. Sarah and I are both big advocates for wool – if you have any wooly questions, I’m sure we would be happy to answer them. Fleece is soft and nice, but it does not breathe, and it is very cold when wet (like in snow), unlike wool.

Mostly, though, we talked about warmth in our presence and in our hearts. This begins with ourselves – have you noticed that the tone and the words you use when speaking to yourself are often very harsh and cold? Judgmental? Lists of things you should have done, have to do immediately, mistakes you’ve made, etc . . . Try to turn some attention to this inner voice this month. At first, just try to notice it. And then if you can, try and introduce some warmth. Imagine if you were speaking this way to a friend, or if they were speaking this way to you. Try being friendly with yourself. It’s very hard to be warm with our families if we are so cold and efficient with ourselves. Along those lines, if you have very small children, you have probably noticed that they take a tremendous amount of energy and warmth from you, lol. In the Waldorf schools, the teachers who work with young children wear aprons every day over their clothes – long, full coverage aprons that come up over their hearts. Not to be quaint, but because it offers a layer of protection, protecting some of your energy from the children so that you can work with them better. This might sound totally wacky, that’s okay. Just a thought for you to ponder. The teachers who do movement work often wear scarves, turtlenecks, etc also – again, layers, protecting the body’s warmth.

We talked about trying to take some pauses when we notice ourselves feeling cold, feeling cut off or overly critical. Try to pause, and even just gently remind yourself, warmth. I’ve been finding this a very helpful practice, personally. I’ve been reading a book called Homemaking & Personal Development by Veronika Van Duin, and listening to teachings from Pema Chodron on cd called The Fearless Heart (the latter you can get through the library), and both of them inspired this month’s meeting.

We talked about how our drive for perfectionism fuels this coldness and cut-off feeling. We want to be perfect so that other people will like us, but it’s interesting to notice that people who either appear to be perfect, or people who act as if they think they’re perfect, are not likable people. They make us feel bad about ourselves, or just plain drive us crazy. But people in our life who have human flaws, and have some ability to be honest about their flaws, or even a sense of humor about them, these are extremely likable people.

It’s important to remember that this is just a practice – a practice of trying to remember warmth, trying to pause, trying out a friendlier, warmer tone with ourselves and our loved ones. Too often we take a tool like this and use it as a weapon against ourselves. This is not easy, or quick, or something we only have to do once. It’s a long-term practice, but very gratifying, even just to do successfully once in a while.

Something else that came up in our meeting, which I hadn’t planned to talk about, but I was so grateful to have it come up, was the idea/illusion that other people’s marriages are easier. It’s so interesting how we culturally have no real models of what long-term relationships are like, and how to have healthy partnerships and marriages. It is a very prevalent illusion that other people work together more smoothly, more easily, argue less, etc . . . Once again, this is comparing what we see from glimpses of other people’s lives in public with what happens in our own private homes, and thinking that we are lacking, or our partnership is lacking. The truth is that deep, lasting relationships are hard work. And they continue to be hard work. I think this is a very juicy topic, and it would be very fun to go into it more another month, if folks are interested.

We did a short meditation exercise, and then we shared about an area in our life that needs some warmth. If you didn’t make it, you could do this yourself at home. Take 5 minutes to write about something in your life that needs some warmth – without judging. This is truly a gentle practice, a light touch, but I think you will be very pleased with the results. Just some warmth. We all have these amazing embers of love and kindness – every one of us – and we can blow on them gently to make them glow even brighter.

Blessings to all of you,

Adrie