When does the day begin: when I wake up to feed the baby at 1? At 3? At 5, when Ella says, Mama, let’s go downstairs. I’m hungry?
When does my “real” work happen: when the baby is napping and I race around doing housework? When he is awake ad cooing, and I am trying to make lunch, coo back, and playing pretend with Ella?
When I start the day asking to serve with love, am I ready to serve only in the ways I want, or in the ways that I am needed?
When does the good life come: when the sap bucket is overflowing, or when the tap runs dry?
The answer, I think, has to be both. It has to be all.
It’s March, which for some reason is always a hard month for me. February has wild energy and new beginnings, but in March I am plumb tuckered out. I would like to be filled with the excitement of spring, but I’m not. I think it’s time to accept that this is the way March is, for me. To go to bed earlier, do less, not expect February’s projects to be completed yet. To make friends with this discontent, since fighting it is what brings suffering. I think it’s time to re-read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha world. ( Side note: this is definitely a Christian book, but as a non-Christian, I still find it illuminating and helpful.) I seem to need this reminder at leadt once a year. The visible work I do is not the only work, or even the better work.
On another side note, a million thank yous to everyone who called their senators and helped them vote No on the Keystone XL Pipeline. Blessings on your weekend, friends.
* Revised to add – be sure to read Ginny’s pep talk today. Just what I wanted to say myself.