I had an entirely different post planned out for today, talking about the joys of knitting. But. I am really struggling with gratitude this week. Among other stresses, we found out yesterday (after over a year of trying to find a dentist to work with us) that our daughter needs a lot of very expensive dental work done. She is two and a half. I am trying really hard to move past my anger and fear about this, but I’m not sure how much I’m succeeding.
Last night, as I was waiting for Ella to fall asleep completely, I was reading Mommy Mantras, by Bethany Casajarian and Diane Dillon. I will confess that when I first picked up this book it seemed, well, fluffy. I put it down, and then I picked it up again. I was on the chapter on anger, and I reached this mantra: Within me there is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed.
My heart softened a bit, towards myself, the dentists and pediatrician who had not helped us, towards our entire predicament.
Within me there is a peacefulness that cannot be disturbed.
And then, this one: Bring it on. Part of their description for this mantra reads, “Bring it on can shape a negative event into a warrior act of service for a greater good. Think of it as being a really assertive monk.”
It’s safe to say that these two phrases are going up on my wall, the dashboard of my car, possibly on my forehead. Today, I’m grateful most all to Ben, who is at my side for all of this, and for Mommy Mantras.