Wheatberry Bakery
Grain CSA
Fields & Fire Blogtoday’s lesson from my live-in spritual teacher (aka toddler)
This weekend started out looking( and feeling) like this – my wheelbarrow, carefully filled with manure, abandoned mid-project, then knocked over before I could get back to finish. Argh.
We had a visit from a dear family member this weekend, but unfortunately everything felt out of whack this week. Ella was cranky, I was cranky, and our guest got to witness Ben and I manhandling Ella into her clothes this morning (yes it took both of us – luckily that was not caught on film!) Remember that lovely family rhythm I talked about? Didn’t that sound nice and peaceful? Today, as I tried to look around me and figure out what was going so terribly wrong, I realized it was me. I was trying to do way too much, and dragging Ella along with me. She was doing her best to tell me, “Slow down!” but apparently, I’m a little dense. Or a lot dense.
In any case, we did slow down, and spent this afternoon doing mostly nothing. Meaning: coloring, dancing to zydeco, taking time to make snack beautiful, reading books, playing pretend.
And the difference was remarkable. Towards the end of the day, I glanced up at the calender (which I had flipped to November this morning, but not actually looked at), and saw this:
Oh. Right. As Ani Difranco (another self-professed workaholic) once said about her daughter, “I have this new boss, who demands that I work less.”
I’m trying. Really.
Know how it goes. It’s incredible how long it takes to learn (and I have to re-learn this every other day or so) how much can be gained by slowing down when being with a toddler. How a simple song can change everything — from a formerly challenging, say, diaper change, to a smoother one. It’s totally unintuitive (at least for me)… and ever changing.
*Hugs*
(Alina’s asleep and some apples are baking in an attempt to reign in my sweet tooth… things are calm right now….)
Well, I have certainly had days like that! I am thankful that Halloween is over. Candy overloads are never a fun thing.
You outdid yourself with the snack…so pretty.
and YUM.
Wow, I can really, really sympathize with this. I also have a live-in spiritual teacher who is trying very hard to teach me the exact same lesson. Lily had a gigantic tantrum this morning over getting shoes on, and yes, it took two frazzled adults to get them on her feet. And I’m sure she’s frustrated with me for hauling her around and back and forth and sideways all week. Sometimes it’s hard to just accept the lesson and not feel perpetually guilty about my often non-stellar parenting.
Thanks Jen! It’s always nice to remember that I’m not the only imperfect parent out there.
Julia,
I’m definitely afraid of the days of candy overload that will be very hard to avoid in our future. Thanks for stopping by!
Bethany,
Thank you. And oh, how I cherish the peaceful sleeping household. Something I never enjoyed until I had Ella.
Something in your post made me think of Whole Child/Whole Parent by Polly Berrien Berends. This beautiful book is full of wisdom for parents and non-parents alike. It really is remarkable. Helpful reviews and excerpts at amazon.
Tracy,
Thanks for your suggestion – I’ll check it out!
[...] under the peace category, in my opinion.) Creating peace with a toddler usually means, for me, not trying to do to much, and being willing to follow Ella’s lead (just say [...]