Gabriel’s birth, like Ella’s, really began weeks before with lots of contractions. Nearly every night as I lay down to sleep, I would have so many serious contractions for so long that I would almost get out of bed to call the midwife . . . but then at last, they would quiet down, or I would fall asleep. Gabriel’s due date was December 25th. A little family history – my dad’s father was born on the 4th of July, asked for a grandson for his birthday present, and my brother (my parents didn’t know he was a boy) was born on the 4th of July. My father’s birthday is December 25th, and guess what he wanted for his birthday/Christmas present?
On Christmas Eve I was having plenty of contractions, but that wasn’t any different from any other night. We put Ella to sleep and came back down to put a few presents under the tree. We usually try to keep the holidays very simple, and this year was even more simple than usual. Ella and I had made cinnamon roll dough earlier in the day for a special Christmas breakfast, and we did have a turkey ready to be roasted, but that was as far as my planning had gone! I had been grumpy all day, and though I was trying not to be anxious to meet my baby, the truth is that I was. We went to bed at nine or ten, and when I woke up at 1:30 am to pee, I was having strong contractions. I came back to bed and lay down next to Ben, where I could see the clock and tell how regular the surges were. After a few minutes it was so intense that I decided to turn on my Hypnobirthing cd to help me relax. Ben woke up then. “honey? Is something happening?” “I’m not sure yet,” I told him. About ten minutes later I said, “Let’s go downstairs and call Michelle (our midwife).”
So down we went, and I called Michelle while Ben immediately got to work building a fire in the woodstove and getting ready. My labor with Ella had been six hours, so we knew that this one would probably be even faster. Michelle was with her family on Cape Cod, so we wanted to give her enough time to get here. I told her I wasn’t sure that she needed to come yet ( I still wasn’t totally sure that this was it), but bless her heart, she got in her car right away. I called her back about ten minutes later and said, “Ok, you need to come.” (I’m realizing as I type this that I did the same thing with my last labor, lol.) She also called our secondary midwife, Jen, who was also on her way.
While Ben got the hose hooked up to fill the birthing tub, I listened to Hypnobirthing, tried to breathe up my belly with each surge, and tried to really relax between. I had started knitting a tiny hat for baby that I thought I would work on but I gave up after only a few rows. I spent most of my time in front of the blazing fire, on my knees with my head and shoulders resting on an exercise ball we’d borrowed from friends. Ben called our friend and neighbor Sarah, who had agreed to come and be with Ella during the birth. At about 2:30, Ella woke up upstairs. I went up to comfort her and see if she would go back to sleep. I lay down with her, but downstairs we could hear lots of noises. “What is Daddy doing?” Ella said, wide awake, and I said, “Well . . . Daddy’s getting things ready, because I’m in labor. Do you want to come downstairs with us?” “Oh yes!” she said, leaping out of bed. (I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that for moths, Ella had been declaring herself to be a midwife, and even wanted to be the one to catch the baby[with help from Dad or another midwife].)
So down we went, and discovered that Jen had arrived and was getting the birth kit supplies ready, and our friend Sarah was walking in the front door. My memory gets pretty hazy at this point. I know that at some point soon, the midwife assistant, Natasha, came and was putting sheets on the futon. Our third, back-up, midwife Gillian arrived and I saw her sitting with Ella in her lap. Sarah told me later that Ella said to her, “My mommy is so beautiful. Look at her skin, it’s just like butter.” (We all love butter, so that’s a high compliment.) What a sweetie pie. Ella realized it was Christmas, and opened all the presents.
My surges were very close together, and very intense. I was trying to listen to the Hypnobirthing cd, but I was having trouble actually hearing it (or anything else) because I was so zoned. While pregnant, I had made a list of “Things to remind Adrie while she’s in labor,” and Ben would come over and say, “Do you want me to read you your list/” and I would nod. It was so helpful hearing his voice remind me. (He told me few days later that he would have done it more, but he felt awkward, like he was telling me what to do, when what did he know about labor?) It seemed like I had to get uo and pee between almost every surge, and I barely had time to walk to the bathroom before another began. I had trouble finding a comfortable position to rest between, and it didn’t seem like very long before I said, “I think the baby’s going to come out soon.”
The water in the tub felt too hot at first, so they started dumping buckets of water out the window and refilling with some cooler water. At one point I heard a big splash and laughter. Our cat had jumped into the (full) tub, and right back out, soaking wet. She looked hilarious, and I had a good laugh. At last I got into the tub and almost right away felt like I needed to start moving the baby down. When Ella was born, I only pushed a few times and she came flying out all at once, but thus time I could really feel my body working the baby all the way down. I felt as though the inside of my body was an enormous space, and this big baby was slowly moving through that space. Ella hopped into the tub with me right away, splashing around in delight. I was making a fair bit of noise at this point, which did make her a little nervous, but Ben and the midwives reminded her that was totally normal. Ben asked if I wanted him to come in the tub and I said “Yes!” It was so great to have them both right there, and to have all the midwives. I had been worried that it would feel too crowded, but it felt like just enough people to do everything, and I was so grateful for all of them.
Michelle arrived just in time – I didn’t hear her come in but heard her voice and saw her there beside the tub. On one very strong surge I hit the side of the tub with my fist, trying to release some of that energy, and I was glad for such a sturdy tub! At one point Ella came over and was rubbing my back, which was so incredibly sweet that I used all my willpower not to say, “Stop!” even though I really didn’t want anyone touching me. At last, I asked her to gently swish water on me instead, and that was much better. I could really feel the head starting to come out now, which was a relief. Michelle was telling me, “I can hear how much space you’re making, Adrie. Your body knows just what to do – when to push and when to slow down.” As the head started to crown I was pushing hard and then doing some funny panting/blowing breaths to stop myself from pushing too much too fast. The baby’s head came out and then there was a pause. It was so amazing to reach down and feel my baby’s beautiful little head. Another push and baby was out, Ben and the midwives were handing him to me, and I was laughing with relief and happiness. I hugged Ella to me and we saw that we had a boy – a perfect, pink, healthy boy. What an amazing blessing. It’s was 5:30 am, Christmas morning. “I was right,” Ella exclaimed. “I have a brother!” (She had been asking, all along, for a brother.)
Someone put the cinnamon buns in the oven to bake, we all climbed out of the tub and dried off and bundled up. Ella was the most excited of all of us – she kept admiring his fuzzy hair (”My little peach!” she kept saying) and everything else about him. He was 7 pounds 7 oz, 20 inches long, and had the same exact face Ella did when she was born, but with different hair. The midwives, Natasha, and Sarah did such an amazing job of cleaning up and fussing over us. I had a bowl of beef stew and drank and drank a lot of this electrolyte drink that I’d made and frozen. Sarah offered to take our turkey home and roast it for us, then bring it back later that day, and we gratefully accepted. The sun rose, and it snowed a little bit. Gabriel (although he didn’t have a name yet) nursed and slept. At last my bleeding had slowed, the newborn exam was done, my exam was done, and the midwives talked to us about what to do the next few weeks (no climbing stairs the first week, etc), and then they went home, too.
We spent that first day in that sort of newborn stunned amazement. Mostly we just talked about how cute and wonderful the baby was, and told Ella about herself as a baby, and she had a blast playing midwife with the remaining supplies. Sarah brought back our turkey, and I can now say that roasted turkey and fixings is the best postpartum food ever. I was so hungry and thirsty. I was a little disappointed at first, that I didn’t have a “true” Hypnobirth – my surges were very intense and sometimes painful. But I realized as I thought about it how much more relaxed I had been, even in the midst of the intensity, how grateful I had felt for the support all around me, and how even four hours hadn’t seemed that long at all. Mostly, I spent the day feeling completely filled by a deep gratitude for a healthy baby. Feeling so lucky and blessed to have had both my births here in this house, to only have to walk over to my bed and snuggle down close with the ones I loved while food was being made in my very own kitchen. And that’s still how I feel – so grateful, so blessed, enjoying these brief days while this new babe of ours is growing so fast (9 1/2 pounds already!). Wishing you well, friends.
Wheatberry Bakery
Grain CSA
Fields & Fire Blog
Grateful for my old friend, the Ergo.
Well, we’ve tried but I’m not sure we managed to capture his extreme sweetness and cuteness. Happy New Year’s to everyone, and Happy one week old to Gabriel.
